{"id":4510,"date":"2022-06-08T16:49:17","date_gmt":"2022-06-08T23:49:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/?p=4510"},"modified":"2022-09-08T10:09:07","modified_gmt":"2022-09-08T17:09:07","slug":"coming-out-and-mental-health","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/blog\/coming-out-and-mental-health\/","title":{"rendered":"Coming out and mental health"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script type=\"application\/ld+json\">\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"BlogPosting\",\n  \"headline\": \"Your Mental Health and Coming Out\",\n  \"description\": \"Let's talk about mental health and coming out of the closet. We've put together a few things you should know | Brightside\",\n  \"image\": \"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/raphael-renter-wuxdtGMNYaU-unsplash-scaled.jpg\",  \n  \"author\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Organization\",\n    \"name\": \"Brightside\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/blog\"\n  },  \n  \"publisher\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Organization\",\n    \"name\": \"Brightside Health\",\n    \"logo\": {\n      \"@type\": \"ImageObject\",\n      \"url\": \"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/wp-content\/themes\/brightside-v4\/assets\/brightside-health-logo.svg\"\n    }\n  },\n  \"datePublished\": \"\"\n}\n<\/script><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For many people in the LGBTQIA+ community, the mental health benefits of coming out are tremendous. There are few things more freeing than embracing your authentic self, but due to cultural and societal factors, coming out can be nuanced and complicated.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The decisions of when to come out, how to come out, and to whom to come out to are ones that only you can make. You can come out any way that feels right to you, even by sending a text message if that makes you more comfortable. There is no right or wrong way. Everyone\u2019s journey is their own.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even so (and this is our most important message in this blog post) it is vital that you know that you are not alone. You have support. You have help from mental health professionals and others. We\u2019ll provide some links below.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to coming out, you can do things according to your own timeline. Nobody should force anyone else, or pressure anyone else, out of the closet. We want to provide you with some facts and information that you can use to consider your options.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Psychological effects of staying in the closet<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Generally speaking, being in the closet involves keeping a massive secret from the world. And keeping a secret can be incredibly stressful. Hiding parts of yourself can result in decreased cognitive capacity in many areas of your life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many LGBTQIA+ individuals find that hiding their sexual orientation from the world makes them less effective across all domains of their lives. They spend significant amounts of time worrying about slipping up or revealing too much or feeling anxious about how their loved ones will react.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/blog\/depression-and-anxiety-in-the-lgbtqi-community\/?promo=FIRST50\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dr. Marie Atallah,<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u201cMembers of the LGBTQI+ community are often tasked with constantly appraising their situation and adapting to how much they can safely reveal of themselves. While this can be seen as an adaptive process, it places a great deal of mental and emotional strain on the individual.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When this strain is also coupled with the pressures of keeping that part of who an individual is secret, it can lead to dissociation. As the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychiatrictimes.com\/view\/closet-psychological-issues-being-and-coming-out\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Psychiatric Times<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> puts it, clinical presentations \u201cmay lie somewhere in severity between selective inattention\u2014most commonly seen in the case of self-aware patients thinking about &#8220;the possibility&#8221; that they might be gay&#8211;to more severe dissociation-\u2014in which any hint of same-sex feelings resides totally out of conscious awareness.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In addition to dissociation, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychiatrictimes.com\/view\/closet-psychological-issues-being-and-coming-out\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Psychiatric Times<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> says, people who have not come out might also experience:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Depression<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anger<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anxiety<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fear<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stress<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Thoughts of suicide<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is why researchers from the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/23362500\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">University of Montreal<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> declared that &#8220;Coming out is no longer a matter of popular debate but a matter of public health.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3><\/h3>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What happens when you come out?<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We don\u2019t wish to imply that coming out will automatically solve all of an individual\u2019s mental health concerns. When someone comes out, there are a range of reactions and experiences that depend greatly on factors like:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Cultural background<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Religious background<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Racial identity<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Geographic location<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Age<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gender\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Within each step of the process of coming out, an individual needs support, love, and compassion.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While every coming out journey is unique, it often involves some or all of these experiences:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gradual testing of waters to see how people respond<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Increased disclosure to those who respond favorably initially<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some rejection as the pool of people who know widens<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Increased support and validation from those who will become the strongest allies and advocates<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Opportunity and willingness to support others in their own coming out process<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even with support, many LGBTQIA+ people feel considerable anxiety after coming out. Others experience depression and other mental health challenges.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As we have said <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/blog\/depression-and-anxiety-in-the-lgbtqi-community\/?promo=FIRST50\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">in our blog<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, \u201cIdentifying as LGBTQIA+ does not directly contribute to depression and anxiety. However, due to contextual factors such as discrimination, rejection from peer groups, and societal stigma, LGBTQIA+ individuals are faced with an additional emotional burden.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being surrounded by a network of people who are promoting acceptance, progressing policy, and dispelling stigma can help. For LGBTQIA+ people with symptoms of anxiety, depression, or other conditions, professional mental health care can make a huge difference.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What are the benefits of coming out?<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most LGBTQIA+ people who have come out report that coming out has made a significant positive impact on their lives.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The previously mentioned study from the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/23362500\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">University of Montreal<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> found that people who have chosen to be open about their sexual orientation tended to have less chronic stress and fewer symptoms of depression than those who remained in the closet. There is good evidence, too, that coming out has a positive impact on anxiety as well.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Coming out allows for closer relationships with those with whom you are vulnerable and who respond with affirmation and care. Sharing information about your authentic self with a close friend or supportive family member provides opportunities to validate and deepen the connection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Embracing your identity can also allow new networking opportunities to connect with other LGBTQIA+ identified people. There is a particular power in being surrounded by people who have common experiences and can offer affirmation. Having a network of friends who have lived through what you are experiencing can help your self-esteem and can be a big mental health benefit of coming out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another thing that can benefit your mental health after coming out is that it can facilitate the development of romantic relationships. Embracing yourself can make it easier to find and foster those connections.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Risks of coming out\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As you can see, there are many mental health benefits from coming out. However, there are also some associated costs and risks to be aware of. You may want to consider and prepare for them in advance.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h5>Risks of coming out include:<\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some invalidation by non-affirming people\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some rejection, possibly even by those who were close family members or friends<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Confirmation of worry that you would get hurt during the process\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If these risks are realized, there are ways you can overcome them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h5>Here are a few tips on how to deal with the difficult consequences of coming out:<b><\/b><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Rejection and invalidation<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Expecting 100% of the people in our lives to support us is unrealistic, and this can be true for many areas of life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here\u2019s something to consider: If someone is unwilling to support you, that is evidence that this is a person you need to draw a boundary with and keep at a distance. Sometimes, if this person was a previously close family member or friend, that can be really sad. Know that you can choose to grieve that relationship. The benefit is that you both learned who that person truly is and you now have the opportunity to invest time and emotional energy in people who are affirming.\u00a0<\/span><b><\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Confirmation of worry that you would get hurt<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When worries become true, it can be painful and make us want to shut down. Try to remind yourself that pain is a part of life and suffering only arises when we try to avoid unavoidable pain. If you want to live an authentic life, there are costs associated with that.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Try asking yourself: Is the value of an authentic life worth the risk of pain along the way? You might find yourself saying yes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Resources for support\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being open about who you are can have a positive impact on your self-esteem and self-confidence. While you may encounter hurtful people, you will also undoubtedly find many who love, support, and respect you for who you truly are. You will have a network of people supporting you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Here are some resources you can turn to for support on your journey:\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thetrevorproject.org\/get-help\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Trevor Project<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: Text START to 678-678 or call 866.488.7386 for free anytime 24\/7 to speak to a Trevor counselor who is understanding of LGBTQ issues and won\u2019t judge you. Your conversation will be anonymous and you can share as much or as little as you like.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/brightside.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Brightside Health<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: Our licensed therapists can help you cope and deal with whatever you\u2019re going through. With unlimited messaging, virtual therapy sessions, and video lessons, you can overcome anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges: 86% of Brightside members feel better within 12 weeks.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/app.brightside.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Start with a free assessment<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>For many people in the LGBTQIA+ community, the mental health benefits of coming out are tremendous. There are few things more freeing than embracing your authentic self, but due to cultural and societal factors, coming out can be nuanced and complicated.\u00a0 The decisions of when to come out, how to come out, and to whom [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":4511,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4510","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-care","category-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.0 (Yoast SEO v26.0) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Coming out and mental health - Brightside<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/blog\/coming-out-and-mental-health\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Coming out and mental health\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"For many people in the LGBTQIA+ community, the mental health benefits of coming out are tremendous. There are few things more freeing than embracing your authentic self, but due to cultural and societal factors, coming out can be nuanced and complicated.\u00a0 The decisions of when to come out, how to come out, and to whom [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/blog\/coming-out-and-mental-health\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Brightside\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/brightsidehealth\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-06-08T23:49:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-09-08T17:09:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/raphael-renter-wuxdtGMNYaU-unsplash-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1707\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Ashley Kane\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@withbrightside\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@withbrightside\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Ashley Kane\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":[\"Article\",\"BlogPosting\"],\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/blog\/coming-out-and-mental-health\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/blog\/coming-out-and-mental-health\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Ashley Kane\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/#\/schema\/person\/a0c19079108070ce40a60ee389811930\"},\"headline\":\"Coming out and mental health\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-06-08T23:49:17+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-09-08T17:09:07+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/blog\/coming-out-and-mental-health\/\"},\"wordCount\":1384,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/blog\/coming-out-and-mental-health\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/raphael-renter-wuxdtGMNYaU-unsplash-scaled.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Self-Care\",\"Stories\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/blog\/coming-out-and-mental-health\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.brightside.com\/blog\/coming-out-and-mental-health\/\",\"name\":\"Coming out and mental health - 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